A poem written 17 years ago to commemorate a friend's passing

a recall to Antonio 

6/23/94

He was. That is true- But now we are, and that is the important thing. And were not for him being- Then this verse of tense would be but an exercise of our mind.                                           We are. And I am sure he would say- This tense is good.                                For we learn through recall- like children- the lesson he was- And we live presently  this moment alone,    a brief celebration of our life, of him. Lee C. Block

Jasmine

A picture book story

by Lee C. Block

©2007 Lee C. Block

Jasmine is my dog.

Mom and Dad say Jasmine is old, and she is dying. 

I know something’s not right because Jasmine doesn’t come to the door any more when I come home from pre-school, but stays in her cubby.

And she sleeps a lot now.

And when we go for a walk we don’t go very far before she turns around to tell me it’s time to head home.

And when we sit together, her legs and head shake a lot.

And she doesn’t like going down the stairs anymore.

And she pees sometimes on the green rug in the kitchen even after she’s been outside.

And she no longer eats my socks and underwear if I forget to put them in the hamper.

And she barely barks when the mail carrier delivers the mail.

My Mom says that when Jasmine dies, she won’t be with us anymore. 

 Mom says that some people think dogs go to “Heaven.”

She and Dad, though, believe when it’s her time it’ll be like Jasmine will just go away and not come back.

But Mom says that Jasmine will always be inside our feelings.

Mom points to the picture on my dresser of Jasmine wearing her purple raincoat that we put on her when the weather is bad.

“That’s how you’ll remember her,” my Mom says as she rubs my head, “and we'll laugh at how much she complained when you put it on her.”

“And we’ll remember her as when we dressed her up in her red sweater and Dad’s beanie hat,” she said pointing to the photograph hanging on the wall.

I like that picture because it makes her look silly.

Dying does seem to mean that everyone is a little unhappy. 

I know that because my older sister starts getting sniffles and teary when Dad says that when it’s time, he and Mom will take Jasmine to see the vet. 

And Mom and Dad haven’t been laughing a lot lately.

“When it’s Jasmine’s time,” Dad says softly, “she’ll just go quietly to sleep.”

But I’m not sure what that means. 

When I go to sleep, I wake up again, just like Jasmine wakes up. 

But Dad says that when she’s ready, Jasmine won’t be waking up after that.

“It’ll be okay,” Dad says too, and he gives me a hug a little harder than he does usually.

And I heard Mom and Dad whispering today after dinner about whether they should get another dog when Jasmine dies.

I’m not sure how I feel about having another dog instead of Jasmine. 

 I just always want to have Jasmine like I know her.

Mom and Dad got Jasmine from the rescue shelter when my sister was still a little baby.

And Mom says that Jasmine has had a long and fun dog’s life with us.

I guess that’s good. 

 But I just don’t know what it’s going to be like after Jasmine dies.

Her cubby will be empty. 

And she won’t be begging for treats anymore.

I ask Mom if Jasmine will remember me when she dies.

She says, “yes,” as she tucks me in after reading me my bedtime story.

“Jasmine will remember you,” Mom says as she kisses my cheek.

“You are her favorite person because you give her a treats after her walk.”

And Mom says treats are her favorite things.

I ask Mom who will give Jasmine her treat after she dies.

She says, “Jasmine won’t need any more treats when she dies. 

And she won’t need any other food either.”

But before I can ask her about anything else, Mom puts her finger across her lips and says, “shhh.  It’s time to go to sleep.”

Mom kisses my cheek and says, “we’ll talk more about Jasmine tomorrow.”

And my bedroom light goes out.

And I try to think what it’ll be like when Jasmine is gone. 

But then I begin to feel like I do when my sister squeezes me too hard, and I don’t like the way that feels.

So I think about the picture of Jasmine in her sweater and Dad’s hat, and I smile. 

I like that picture a lot.

Dedicated to

Jasmine Howell

1994 - 2007

A thought dump for a June 18, 2011

Life.  

I often wonder about the value of something alive -- why humans think we are so special; and why we dominate, oppress and exterminate every other species -- even including members of our own genus.

In order to justify such killing, we invent supernatural and scientific logic to justify our deliberate intervention in the natural order of things.  Either we invoke some kind of pre-ordained right to fuck with everything around us; or we justify our intervention with rationalizing our need to satiate our innate sense of curiosity.  

Nothing is exempt -- from the lowest of single-celled organisms to the complexity of the largest of animals.  


We are so smug in our attempts to control and dominate -- and in our petty attempts @ divinity -- we alter the very genetic fabric of living flora and fauna (and ourselves) with little regard for long term ecological and biological consequences.


And we even have the audacity to think it okay for humanity to manipulate the minutest of sub-atomic particles to attempting to affect the very nature of other celestial bodies as moons, comets and meteors, and other planets.  That this is our right, because, after all we are human, aren't we?

What is sad is Gaia (and the rest of the micro- and macro-Universe) existed quite nicely for billions of years plus or minus a few catastrophic events as meteor collisions, massive volcanic eruptions and planetary shifting of magnetic poles and angle of axis.

But in each case -- even when most of the species were eradicated by a particular cataclysmic event -- after a few thousand to million years, the planet healed itself.  And Life continued.

The problem is that humanity's current impact on life on Earth is having the same initial impact as one of these catastrophes.  And if we continue, we may end up being so thorough in disrupting the natural order of things, the destructive impact of our reckless disregard for everything alive will be irreversible.


And if we manage to somehow move beyond our planet before we destroy it entirely, as encouraged by Stephen W. Hawking, will we destroy everything else in our path as well?

To be a Sexagenarian

On May 18, I turned 60.

60 -- what the fuck is that all about? 60? That's old people -- but not really old enough to be a Senior Citizen. It's gray hair; receding hairlines; hairy ears and noses; curving spines and getting shorter; thinning and freckling skin; it's wrinkles; bulging bellies; and somehow you begin to think you should be wearing pants with elastic waist bands and un-tucked Hawaiian shirts that hide the bulge.

I can remember where I was when I turned 20 (Madison WI), 30 (Boston MA), 40 (Seattle WA) and 50 (San Francisco CA).

But I never thought about turning 60. And now it's here.

What's weird is I've already outlived a sister who died @ 56 and a brother who recently died a couple of months short of his 62nd birthday. And even more weird is that my mother is still alive at the age of 90 and so are her brothers at ages 94 and 99.

I used to look forward to turning milestone ages. 21 -- when I could drink, 35 -- when the US Constitution says I am old enough to be President; and 50, a half-century old.

But now, I don't look forward anymore -- each new year brings me closer to the end of my life; and as much as I am pleased with the life I've led, I dread watching as I see myself slow down, my mind begin to lose some of it's quickness, and my body succumbing to it's ultimate entropic fate.

O well. Next May 18, I'll turn 61. I'll let you know how that feels when I get there.

The Madness

As a US Senator you don't have to resign because you solicited sex from whores from the Senate floor, all the while espousing "Family Values," and promoting and voting for venal anti-Gay, anti-women, anti-poor and anti-immigrant legislation. [David Vitter]

You get to stay a Senator (@ least for awhile until your criminality is so obvious even the rest of the Senate can't ignore) even if you force your married staff person (and wife of your best friend) to fuck you, and then get your parents to bribe the harmed family with $96,000 in cash; and to break the law by setting up the cuckolded husband in a lobbying firm. [John Ensign]

Or you don't have to resign the Senate if you get caught by an undercover cop trying to solicit a blow-job in a public men's bathroom in a Minneapolis airport. [Larry Craig]

Or resign as a Congressman because you committed serious tax and ethics violations; or get caught with $90,000 stuffed in your freezer. [Charlie Wrangel] [William Jefferson]

But do some stupid shit like sexting lewd pictures of yourself via Twitter and engaging in adolescent prurient talk with young women over Facebook; and get caught by some Right Wing prevaricating fuck as Andrew Breitbart, and it's all over.

Congressman Anthony Weiner was an idiot for engaging in such stupidity. But he broke no laws and did not have sex with any of the young women with whom he corresponded.

But he made a BIG MISTAKE -- as a vocal Progressive, he allowed the Right Wing to target him and get his own party to turn against him, because they labeled him a "distraction." What he was was one of the few who spoke out on the floor of Congress about the horrible injustices being inflicted every day by the extreme Right.

I do not believe Weiner should've resigned. Him sending stupid shit over the Internet is not reason to get rid of one of the few voices who called the Right Wing on their shit.

But what's done is done. And as Rachel Maddow said tonight on her show, throwing Weiner under the bus will only embolden the Right Wing to do even more evil shit as this.

Not good. Not good @ all.

Lee's Surprisingly Good English Pea and Zucchini Soup with Tarragon and Drizzled Black Truffle Oil

(Background -- I get a weekly CSA box, so have to do the Iron Chef thing when I get a mess of weird stuff in the fridge. This recipe is based on a couple of recipes I found on the internet -- one recipe in particular called for peas, zucchini and bacon. Given that I haven't eaten meat in 40 years, I passed on the bacon.)

Part 1: Puree

Olive Oil

1 medium onion chopped

1 medium bulb spring garlic minced

1 cup of celery chopped

2 medium zucchini sliced

2 cups shelled fresh English peas (takes a while to do the shelling -- maybe you can hire someone to do the work -- but there is a Zen to doing the shelling)

4 cups veggie stock

Salt Pepper

Optional: I did not add it, I bet a little white wine added would go well with this puree

Heat olive oil in soup pot. Once hot add and saute onion and spring garlic in olive oil. Stir occasionally on low/medium heat. When soft, add celery, saute and stir a few more minutes, then add zucchini and fresh peas. When everything is sauteed, add the veggie broth, bring to a boil. Salt and pepper to taste. Then turn off heat.

Puree. I use a food processing stick as it's real easy to puree everything without making a big mess. Otherwise, puree in batches in a blender and return to the pot when completed.

Part 2: Add in

A little oil oil

3 small zucchini thinly sliced

tarragon dried or fresh (add based on your taste of tarragon -- start small though as tarragon can be a pretty pungent herb)

Black Truffle infused olive oil

Optional: Again I did not add it, I bet a little white wine in the saute zucchini would add flavor

Heat the oil in a frying pan. Add the zucchini, add tarragon to taste. Drizzle in a little Black Truffle infused olive oil. When soft add to the puree.

If needed, drizzle in a little more Black Truffle infused olive oil.

Have fun....

Lee's Roasted Beet, Fennel and Onion Salad with Wilted Spinach, Feta and Walnuts

Made up this recipe for an open house we had in the summer 2009

Roasted beets -- can be both gold and red or just red -- roast by putting in a covered oven proof dish with 1/4 - 1/2 cup of water. I think 375 - 400 degrees for 1 hour or until beets are easily pricked with fork -- when cool remove skins and slice -- set aside.

Roasted fennel -- slice 1 medium to large fennel horizontally -- toss in a bowl with some olive oil -- place on an oiled cookie sheet --roast for about 15 minutes or so @ 400 degrees toss about 1/2 through --done when pierced by fork - -set aside

Roasted onions -- cut as many as you like (two or three medium, 2 large) lengthwise along onions and section -- toss with some oil salt and pepper -- place on oiled tray -- 400 - 425 degrees toss after 15 minutes and then cook another 15 or so minutes until pierced by fork

Wilted spinach -- wash and set aside large bunch to 1 lb. of spinach in large mixing bowl -- heat about three/four table spoons of olive oil in pan-- do not let smoke but get good and hot -- pour over spinach and toss with a large spoon so oil covers all the spinach -- let sit for a couple of minutes.

Arrange the spinach in the bowl -- arrange beets, fennel and onions on top (or you can gently toss the beets, fennel and onions and then layer gently on top of the spinach.

Crumble about 8 - 12 ounces of feta cheese on top of veggies (amount depending on size of salad).

Then sprinkle 1/2 to 1 cup of walnut pieces over the top of the salad

And there you go -- Lee's roasted beet, fennel and onion salad with wilted spinach, feta and walnuts.